My dreams

This is a weird subject i know but I can't help thinking about it, these 4 dreams stick out in my mind. First, I had this dream when I was younger. I was at my old school (Homer Center) but before I tell you about it, it took place in the cafeteria in the closet where they put the tables. I was with other kids not one adult... for some odd reason there were babies with us. Maybe only 1 or 2, and me and some other kids were holding the doors as if to keep something out. I don't know why but I felt the adults were gone forever; all our parents. It made my stomach ache at the thought of not having ma. (This was before ma even met Sherry) Whatever was behind the door was trying to get us.

The second one was at this weird place but at the same time it was cool. But in the back of my mind we were at the school. And that's not the weirdest part. I had the feeling the adults, and the parents were gone, and that we were looking for them. We were very caution as if in danger. I woke up but we never found the parents or adults. These 2 dreams were just this year.

Then the third dream; I was at the school I didn't have the feeling the parents were lost, just not around. The school was apparently being run by the older kids. I must have been one of the kids running it. I was in an office upstairs and I was the only one there. I felt something watching me and it felt like it was getting closer, I freaked and ran not knowing what to do.

The last dream was most recent. I was again at the school, I was by these steps but I never saw them before, they swirled down and were black and white. I felt like I was waiting for someone. The stairs were by a large window, so I just looked out waiting. Whoever it was I was waiting for, I had feeling he/she was my age and not one of the missing parents or adults. When I think about these dreams I think how I'd hate to go through that for real. Not knowing where the adults in my family were. Having to fight to survive, not to get caught by whoever it is I feel watching me. It scared me but also made me curious. Why is it always the school? Why are the parents gone? Where are they? Who was trying to get us? Why us? I'll keep posting. Tell me what you think:)

My father

Another subject my friends bring up. And the one I hate the most. They all have their fathers in their life. Here's what they say" Well you should make an effort" "Well maybe he wasn't ready" "Give him a chance" blah blah blah so on and so forth. And it drives me crazy! Ugh! Sometimes I just want to yell it's none of your business but I don't want to be rude. They just don't know what it's like. Then when I say I don't want to talk about it. They go ballistic and say"fine don't except my help, be stubborn". And I think in the back off my mind how in the world am I being stubborn. It's not the kids job to make the effort, it's the parents. In this case anyway. This is totally off subject but I just thought of this. My friends want me to dress like them, have a dad like them, and live where they live. I think since I'm the ONLY one different technically... out of the friends who pester me about these subjects. I think they want me to the same and not be who I am. Ugh.. Sounds right. Correct me if i'm wrong.

My style and my friends style

My style is baggy, comfy, all jeans, and i think stylish. My friends style skin tight, it looks un-comfy, and it's an OK style I still like my style. Again when I go over to a sleepover I bring my style of clothes. As soon as I change or something they complain about my style. Then they force me to do(in my opinion stupid) a makeover. They dress me up like a doll and don't care what I say. I feel like they don't like me for who I am. Which is geeky girl;P. They say I should be a model. I don't want to be a model though. But they just keep pushing it on me. Here's how I see it... I go over, they bring up the subject, corner me, and force me to talk about it. Correct me if i'm wrong but i'm not supposed to feel that way around friends. Again UGH....:(

Moving to Az

Ma and Jacq want move to Arizona. I think it would be cool. But my friends don't want me to go. Every time I go to sleepover(cause we always just have one big sleepover with everyone there) they all gang up on me and bring up several subjects I'm not comfortable with. So I'll say i don't want to talk about or I'll think about it. But they will just say I need to talk about it now. With the subject AZ... they ask what's out there? You don't know anyone. Then they'll mention about my family. When I talk to Ma and Jacq I want to go... But when I talk to my friends i don't really know. So when I come home I'm so confused. And when I think about the consequences. If I go my friends would hate me. And if I stay I'll miss Ma and Jacq too much. Ugh...:(